Deep Rest


Shit happens. It’s part of life.

What we don’t tell ourselves is sometimes we need to take a pause, give our hearts, minds and spirits downtime. We are always reacting to things. Filtering what to ingest and what to discard. We drain ourselves continuously and, in true American fashion, say how strong we are for doing so.

There’s not strength in emptiness. None. Not even a little. I knew this, but I had to be reminded that when life gives me lemons, sometimes, they need to be thrown away, not made into lemonade.

What do I mean by that? Not taking on other people’s problems. Over the last five years I’ve learned that in order to maintain my peace of mind, I have to decipher between support and action in other people’s lives. And sometimes deciding that this path is not mine to walk right now. It also means being immune to other people’s judgment who aren’t walking in these Nikes.

Deep Rest came to me in the form of a workshop at my favorite spa, replenish. I’ve written about it before. It’s a place women go to release, relax, recharge, rejuvenate and reconnect. But this particular course, this particular month, seemed necessary. A lifeline during a time when things are happening around me and I have to reconnect to my center.

Deep rest allows me to focus. It allows me to release guilt, unworthiness, anger, sadness, mourning and self-judgment. In stillness I can find the D who understands that this is not more than I can bear. It’s realigning where I’m going and shedding some baggage slowing down my journey. It’s understanding what ‘loving with space’ means and how to encourage others on the leg of the journey with me that it’s okay to do so. It’s heading down into my soul’s basement and opening some old trunks of emotion and releasing them, rebuilding my core beliefs around abundance and love instead of lack and abandonment.

It’s showing up for my damn self and being my super heroine. Loving me, encouraging me, setting my own direction for my life. And giving no fucks about how old I am.

Deep rest allows me to be a role model for The Girl who is just entering womanhood.

Deep rest allows me to support The Kid when he needs it.

Deep rest allows me to be whole so I can show up fully in my relationship with The Hero.

Deep rest allows me to celebrate my whole journey. Everything between the magnolious and the shitty.

Deep rest allows me to pause in the midst of living.

If you’ve never had an opportunity to experience deep rest, try it. Set aside an hour. If you’re thinking you don’t have an hour, make one. Aren’t you important to you? Reclaim your time, sis/bro!

Stretch – release the tension you’ve been holding in your body.

Feel – let it out. Cry, dance, pace or write. Let that shit go however feels good to YOU.

Love – you’re not perfect. Neither am I. But we’re all lovable and worthy. Believe that.

Leave – don’t pack anything back up that you let go. Let that shit go. It doesn’t want to be with you anymore than you want to keep carrying it. So let go.

Whatever happened to you, create a new default. Mourn the trauma or negative feelings, but make space for that new thing that will have you feeling like you’re the best. Because you are. You’re fucking fantastic.


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