people! ohmygodohmygodohmygod. hi! i took a selfie and even smiled.
my mommy is really busy thinking about a lot of stuff. i don’t know what that stuff is. she still has time to rub on me a whole lot. and she feeds me every day. it’s something white and tiny, something that smells like burnt cows and crunchy stuff. she pours something on it that smells like the stuff she makes in the morning. i think i heard her tell my daddy bacon grease is life. i eat bacon grease is life on my food. it’s delicious.
my dad gives me something salty and crunch from a red bag. it’s crunchy and makes me drink a lot of water, but i like it. he dropped something that looked like leaves on the ground. i ate it. i don’t think i liked it, but it was his food so i figured it was a good idea to eat it because he ate it.
i don’t really know what a week is. i think it’s a bunch of times i go to sleep and wake up. i woke up this morning and went outside. my daddy tried to secure the patio, but i’m smart. i pushed the rocks. i smelled something and i gotta find out what it is. i think it’s another dog. there are two guys down the way that bark every now and then. i left a message for them outside their fence. i want to see who they are. the one sounds big, but he can’t be bigger than my daddy so i’m not scared.
my mommy took me to the park before i went to sleep and woke up the last time. it was fun. some little dog barked at me. little dogs are cute. they bark and bark like they’re big, but they’re not. my mommy made me stay close so that i didn’t run up on him and scare him. he had a brother though who looked bigger. he didn’t bark. he looked annoyed. yapping little brother always has something to say.
my daddy took me to the park too. i don’t know how many sleeps and wake ups ago that was. we had fun too. he let me off the leash. i don’t get off my leash a lot. why? maybe i’m a little curious. sometimes i just like to find what i smell when i’m out walking. soo… it’s possible that i may be a little bit of a runner. i’m getting it together because i want to get off the leash with my mommy. she gets all nervous i’m going to hurt myself. i don’t know where she gets that idea from.
(Editor’s note: Bro’Ham forgot he jumped out the car window while the car was moving. He also dashed out the door and scared the neighborhood kids so much they jumped on cars.)
i got a toy this week. it makes noise and it’s squishy. my mommy kept being a jerk and moving it. she didn’t understand that i put it where i wanted it. she really needs to chill out with the picking up my stuff and moving it. i can’t find it! but then i remember bacon grease is life on my food. it’s been my favorite toy this week. that really hard thing that smells like bison is a real close second. i can chew that and not get in trouble. i guess eating daddy’s shoe strings and trying to find the food in mommy’s bag wasn’t a good idea.
my mommy put me out her room this morning and i heard some sounds and stuff behind the door. when she came out she smelled different. then she went in room where she made me all wet and came out smelling different. i think we’re going somewhere. i gotta go before she asks me why i’ve been barking so much and put me in jail for using her white box.