The mantra above is one that I created working with Akua when she was just starting Let’s Pursue You roughly three years ago. It helped me work through a lot of issues around valuing who I am, what I stand for and releasing old stories I believed to be true about myself.
It comes in handy once again. For the last two weeks, I’ve allowed myself to succumb to the whims of life’s tides. There’s a part of me that wants to blame something (Bro’Ham) or someone (The Hero is my favorite scapegoat), but at the end of the day, I believe in ownership.
I sabotaged myself. I spoke being tired, achy, afraid, not good enough into existence and when it showed up and called me Mommy, I was confused and clutching my pearls. For real though?
Yes, for real. See, I have a pretty good mind. When I focus and use it, fantastic things happen. I create. I expand. I feel. I am at peace. When I forget these things and focus on all the small things happening around me, I lose sight of game-changing me. The clouds of smallness roll in and shade my shine.
It manifested here on the blog. I apologize to you for some not-so-stellar posts as of late. I’m going to do better. That may mean that you don’t get to come along for food adventure rides because I’m not cooking anything spectacular this week. As a matter of fact, we’re having plain old spaghetti for about three days, which probably means no food post this week. A funny story may come from me convincing The Hero that he can still eat spaghetti cooked today on Saturday, but sharing a spaghetti sauce recipe that changes with whatever we have on hand seems kinda like cheating. I’m not going to do that.
So I’m righting the ship over here. The Hero mentioned that it’s never that I can’t do something, it’s that I haven’t decided I can and will. So, once again, I’m deciding I can do better starting today. That includes on the blog, in my creative life, self-care and work. In the meantime, I’m going to Google supporting information on leftover shelf life so I don’t have to cook again until Saturday.