The Crying Game

cryingame

I posted this on FB this morning because it was extremely appropriate. it seems that at least once a quarter, I need to purge. The accumulated negative energy needs to be removed so I can make some forward progress on my life lessons.

Despite my awesomeness, I struggle with my own set of insecurities. I am grateful to at least know I have these issues. I am also grateful that I will learn to take time for me so that this quarterly purging isn’t so emotionally disruptive. The beauty of these valleys in my life is that I always re-member some part of my spirit I consciously forgot. This time I became aware of a crucial part of a truth I knew before: I spend a lot of time loving the people in my life and wondering why they do what they do (old knowledge), but I don’t expend nearly as much energy doing the things that bring me joy (new knowledge). I worry WAY too much about other people feeling loved and important, but on a regular basis I give myself minimal shine. What is that? Seriously. How can that even be a good thing for someone like me? Alas, friend, it’s real.

I made promises before and didn’t keep them. I read some research on weight loss recently that said people are more prone to do things if they frame it in terms of ‘I do/don’t’ rather than ‘I can/can’t’. I do/don’t. Simple. I’m going to see if this works (I guess I’m already predisposed to believe it. Jedi mind trick. Boom!).

  • I don’t neglect giving myself the time and attention I need to feel 100% awesomely D. #TeamDee
  • I don’t have time to waste worrying about what you do to put the brakes on what I’m doing. #DoNMe
  • I do spend time with people who love and support me. #UKnowULoveD
  • I don’t have time for people who try to make me feel less than. #ThemFoolzNotLoyal
  • I do have space in my circle for new people and there are some that I would love to get to know better. #BirdsFeathersNFlockin
  • I don’t have time for people who don’t have time for me. #ByeFeliciaAndFelipe

What’s the next step? Making this part of my daily life. I just told The Hero how I forget the details. My mind Cliff Notes EVERYTHING (cursed efficiency)! I need an app to record conversations so I remember what I said because apparently I’m the only one that forgets I promised to do something in October in January. #MotivationFail

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