Now that I’m 40…

I had to GET MY LIFE. Like… for real. For the last two months, I’ve been wanting to post and write, but I was lazy.

Yeah… I said it. Lazy. I cooked on and off. I created on and off. I kinda sucked, but while sucking, I had some interesting, eye-opening epiphanies.

I realized that I am interested in a lot of things, but not focusing on any of them to see if they merit more exploration or should be things I like that I will pay someone else to do for me. It stemmed from being cheap (no, I didn’t mean frugal). Being cheap blocks reciprocity, so I’m giving that up today.

The second was I was putting way too much stress on making money than on enjoying my life. For real. Everything was filtered through the lens of ‘can I profit from this?’ and eventually, because of my mostly introverted personality, everything got the nix. Sigh. (It just dawned on me that I could have used my Etsy account.) That lead to me not doing anything significant despite wanting to do so. I don’t even want to explore where this all stemmed from.

That leads to the third epiphany (that I’ve probably had every year for the last 20 years):

changeI have this posted on my wall at work and I thank the work people for this one. I wanted to ride in there with my sword drawn and red pen ready and got beat back. And the fight at work drained a lot of my energy, which meant a lotta evenings feeling mentally drained.

Resistance is persistence and it doesn’t affect the same parts of my life where it occurs. That’s what kept me from coming here for almost six months. I’m not necessarily building the new because I still enjoy sharing my cooking, baking and craft experiences with you.

So now that you know what’s been happening, let’s go forward. I’m WAYY excited about what’s coming. Yeah, I know some people are looking forward to pumpkin, but being a black girl, pumpkin was reserved for simple Halloween carving, not food. But, don’t leave yet. Apples are in season and apples were D-family approved. Val J made a mean apple pie. Seeing as I’ve also developed a hankering for Woodchuck Hard Cider, bourbon and Fireball cinnamon liqueur, I have apple recipes brewing in my head. I’m sure that will make my friends happy. That’s coming some time this month. And The Hero agreed to be my tester for DIY ketchup – because I don’t eat it – and I’m going to make my own barbecue sauce after being tricked, again, by Open Pit’s bourbon sauce. Epic yuck! Tastes like mass production.

So stick around and see what’s coming out over in these parts. You’ll be glad you did.


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