After confiding in Akua about my desire to find my femininity, we took action. Unreasonable action. She challenged me to come up with 26 actions I could take to get back in line with that part of me. In 9 minutes. Talk about unreasonable… I was sure that I wouldn’t come up with the actions. Of course, that was craziness. I came up with 30 actions. Yeah… 30. In 9 minutes, written neatly by hand. Guess you never know what you have inside until you test it.
Anyhow, part two of the assignment was to go through my shoes. I thought the actions task was hard, but throwing away my shoes made me sweat. It wasn’t the act of throwing them away, it was that I don’t have a lot to start with to even consider throwing away! And now there would be even less. Sigh. Progress, D, progress.
I came home and looked at my 25 pair of shoes and let go. Literally. I had to let go of my thoughts around having stuff I don’t wear, the feelings that having less meant I wasn’t as fly and of the idea that it was hard. I had to let go of being me and see this shoe collection from a detached perspective. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and looked with fresh vision.
Immediately, I tossed the ugly moon shoes that didn’t support my feet:
The irony about these shoes is when they arrived, The Hero said they were ugly. I defended said ugly shoes thinking that the support and 176 positive Amazon reviews would more than make up for the obviously pitiful design. No. After three wearings, they were relegated to the back of the shoe rack.
Next, the flesh tone wedges that literally fell apart while we were on vacation in D.C. Talk about annoying. Imagine walking like 15 blocks with a wedge and a flat. Ugh! I was DONE. I had to superglue the wedge back on to get back to the hotel. That was in July. And I just managed to throw them away two weeks ago. Shame on me.
Then I tossed the old L.A. Gear I bought because they were all-white and on sale for $20. The simple fact that they were L.A. Gear should have made me leave them on the shelf, but I was cheap and they served the purpose. I just never looked at my feet when I wore them. Toss.
After that, I had to toss the Fergalicious wedges from three years ago. I loved the shoes, but when the bottoms start flapping, it’s time to get them repaired or toss them. I opted for tossing. If I’d paid $100 or more – like I did my Guess boots – I would have had them fixed, but I’m sure they were no more than $40. At $13/per year, I got my use out of them.
Ah… all flip-flops got tossed except for the ones I wear in the bathroom after The Hero showers. I realized these feet killers were causing me pain from my back down and it made no sense to continue wearing them outside the house. Not to mention, they give you what The Hero calls ‘dirt foot’. Not sexy.
After that, the shoes were flying! Once I weeded out the shoes, I went through my hanging clothes. After my hanging clothes, purses. Then accessories. And today, I’m going through my intimates drawer. THAT’S going to be a travesty, but something that needs to be done and done now.
After clearing all these things out though, I realized I needed to clear space. Physically, I needed to make room for new things that clearly reflect who I am, but mentally, I needed to let go of the attachment to those things. None of them were serving me anymore, so why hold on? And that allowed me to see a lot of other things in my life from that perspective.
Yes, I’m down to 15 pair of shoes, but they are 15 pair that I love. I’m able to donate 8 purses and some accessories to charity and give a few clothing items and accessories to Dress for Success.
Shoe game? Checked. Now… time to go shopping!