I decided to start putting the life part of my tagline on the blog. Sure every now and then there’s a little of what goes on behind the recipe or project, but not enough for you to get to know me or the people who inspire me to do what I do.
I found Finish the Sentence Friday over at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic. It was cool reading about something other than pumpkin recipes or making my own Christmas ornaments. So I figured ‘why not?’
Right now I’m thankful for stepping up my game. I’d fallen into this hole of making myself smaller, thinking that the people around me would be put off by my largeness. I know where this came from and after a long time trying to make it better, one day, it clicked. When? The day I saw a posting for the job of my dreams.
Let me go back. Usually, I’m TERRIFIED of applying for jobs. I hate writing cover letters because I’ve always felt like I could never sell myself enough. Then there’s the anxiety of interviews once I make it into the candidate pool. What are my weaknesses? Why should you hire me? Tell you about myself? Ugh. I’d rather be miserable at a job I hate than go through all the anxiety.
Then I asked myself: Is long-term misery better than short-term anxiety? No. Not at all. That started a whole whirlwind of change. I applied for (and got!) the job, which in turn gave me a good dose of faith in my ability to manifest what I wanted.
And that spilled over into other aspects of my life. I wasn’t necessarily happy with the goals I set for myself. They were goals other people set for themselves and where they were headed that looked good, but weren’t for me. So I got that in line and realized “hey… I’m a girlie girl, but very little in my life reflects that.” So I bought some nail polish and painted my finger nails.
Then I realized “hey… I like being fit.” Dragged out the old treadie and started the Couch-to-5K beginners program and took on a squat challenge. It was hard at first (read I tripped on the treadmill and couldn’t make it up the stairs after 155 squats). Going into week 2, I’m not tripping on the treadmill anymore and I can no longer hold a pencil at the bottom of my butt cheeks.
And THEN I realized “hey… I don’t have to do that” and decided that I was going to stop giving my time and energy to people and things that frankly, I just don’t like. I’m an introvert with some extrovert moments. I tried converting. It was wack and stressful.
So right now, I’m thankful for taking that one step that lead to a bunch of other steps that’s helping me be the bigger person I always imagined. That one step has made me really appreciate who I am, what I like and the people I love.