The Unhelpful Helper

Unhelpful Helper
For the last three months, I’ve been pretty good about posting on a regular basis. I wanted to start being consistent with my blogging, build a nice following and, at some point, look into making Honesty’s Protégée a money-generating endeavor. As such, I see everything that we do at home as a potential blog post.

Unfortunately, The Hero doesn’t see things that way. For instance, the Man Cave is a space just crying for my DIY projects and I consistently want to do something to make it a great space for The Hero. Reread that sentence. I consistently want to do something to make it a great space for The Hero. What ends up happening is I become unhelpful, wanting to create a Heroine-Inspired Hero Man Cave.

What do I mean. Well… The Hero wants to build shelves for the Man Cave. Because I signed up to make a second tire table, I rode with him to Lowes. He was doing Hero calculations when I said, like an eager kid, ‘Can I help??’

The Hero: Sure. Find out where the screws for concrete are.

Um…. what? I didn’t mean that kind of help. I wanted to co-plan shelf-building. Measurements. Costs. I don’t want to be… Robin. But, being a loving wife, I went and asked the nice associate for concrete screws (you know, just so I could be available for measurements and costs).

Screws located and researched, I told The Hero which screws would work for the project (as I interpreted from his thinking-out-loud episode).

The Hero: Thanks. I don’t need those (pointing at my screws). I’m going to use those (pointing at other screws).

Oh. Bomb 2. The third time HAS to be the charmer. Really. It just HAS to be.

We walk over to the lumber department and start looking at wood for shelves. He passes the sheets of wood and head to the planks. I’m going to get the gold star here….

Me: So… what will your shelves look like? How are you going to construct them?

The Hero: I’m not sure. I think I’m going to buy one of these (2x8x8) and have it cut down to size.

Me (former Math Whiz): How big is the shelf for the TV going to be?

The Hero: about 60″

Me: That’s five feet. You’ll only have three feet left over for the other three shelves. I don’t think that will be enough.

The Hero: I was going to buy two of these and maybe one of those (another thinner post) to make it longer.

Me: Why don’t you just buy a sheet of birch and have it cut to the sizes you need? It will cost less and you can get exactly what you want without having to piece wood together.

And that’s when it happened. The Hero looked at me with a mixture of ‘why are you calculating my project?’, love, annoyance and something I will just call manmones. In that instance, at that precise moment, I realized that I was being the unhelpful helper. I was trying too hard to make things easier and in fact making them way more complicated by trying to turn it into a Dee project instead of letting it remain a Hero project.

I took a step back mentally. From that  point on, I waited for The Hero to ask questions or get my opinion. The vibe of our Lowes excursion totally changed and everything became right as rain. He told me more when I stopped trying to tell him how to do it than when I asked questions. I still remain the DIY champion, but there’s room for two creative minds here.


3 thoughts on “The Unhelpful Helper

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  1. Hi Deauna! So I left you a message on your Facebook page last week but I’m not sure how often you check it. You won the $100 Amazon gift card from on my blog…yay! Send me an email ( with your mailing address and we’ll send it out to you ASAP 😉
    Hope you’re doing well!
    xo – Marion
    ps – LOVE the rope table DIY project…very cool!

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