I started blogging because I was having a hard time getting over my mother’s death. It took nine years for me to get the support I needed to let go of the event and fully move on with my life while still holding on to the positive feelings I had of her. I also wrote about The Kid, The Hero and other topics that were moving at lightning speed.
I find myself, as I frequently do, at a crossroads. All of my crossroads are important and this one is no less so than any other, except it will hurl my life into the stratosphere. This year, I have to be aware and authentic. Not just aware and not just authentic, but both. All the time. Even if being both is unpopular to others.
That scares me a little. A lot of things I thought of doing in 2012 was to live up to a standard for others. To be labeled ‘worthy’ based on what I have accomplished not who I am. It’s going to require me to stop writing that I’m going to do something, do it for a couple of months and then fall back into the same pattern. It’s going to require that I am aware of my progress, that I am aware of WHY I’m doing what I’m doing and authentic as to why I’m doing it. It’s going to require me to do something I don’t often do: ask for help.
The coming year will require me to be authentic about every aspect of my life. Not just the ones I want people to see, but the ones that I see. There are some rooms of my life house whose windows are filthy or even boarded shut. What God has shown me is that these dirty and boarded up rooms are a direct reflection of my fear of being authentic.
That being said, the most important things that I learned in 2012:
- Gratitude is the first step toward changing my life
- The Universe is just waiting to take action on my behalf to bring to me exactly what I desire, good or bad
- There are more people willing to help me than I ever possibly imagined
- Being honest about and aware of my true desires will make this my best year yet
In 2013, I intend to do something different, something outside of my normal routine every day. And when I write this post on December 31, 2013, I expect to be a different woman.