37th Birthday Week Recap

On what had to be the hottest day of the year to date, I celebrated my 37th birthday. If you remember, there was an agenda for BD2012 and because I know how much you want to know if I actually followed the agenda, here’s an edited, updated version:

Monday (My birthday!): Wake up and take a walk or jog. Come home, shower Wake up and have a Mint Julep. Charge new phone and marvel at the smartphoneness by downloading 87 apps. Cook the Reheat Sunday’s spaghetti for breakfast of my choice (no matter how elaborate), go on kitchen strike and have a Belle Collins. Bake cupcakes. Eat Piada and have a Bellini. Come home and make a real Bellini. Nap. Get ready for dinner. Invite friends over and have shots of Skittles Vodka while eating cupcakes. Be too hot to eat dinner. Paint cute tumblers for the week’s drinks. Go to sleep. Tomorrow will be cooler.

Tuesday: Low-key breakfast. Water. Aspirin. Shower. Work on Look at the photos from Sunday’s brunch at Milestone 229. Watch Spongebob Squarepants every single time it comes on TV. Every. Single. Time.  Escape the 100-degree weather. Go to the movies with The Kid to see Ted and Snow White and the Huntsman. Maybe I’ll cook dinner. Maybe I’ll scavenge something that requires no cooking. Maybe The Hero will cook. Maybe I’ll skip dinner. A few shots of Skittles Vodka (if there’s any left). Refashion a pair of shoes.

Wednesday (Fourth of July!): Wake up and take a walk or jog. Come home, shower and eat some fancy pancakes. Find out who will be grilling animal parts and invite myself over. Eat a salad from Wendy’s. Have a Seagram’s 7 and 7 over strawberry ice cubes. 4 a.m. – start negotiating with God, Allah, Buddha, Isis and Zeus to turn down the Sun for the rest of my vacation. 6 a.m. – make enough Quiche for myself to eat for breakfast the next three days. Go the thrift store the day they have a .50 sale and it’s 101 outside. Sale + 100 degrees = More sweaty parts. Sit outside and talk with the neighbors and The Hero. Shower #3. Sleep.

Thursday: Lay in the bed until 11 a.m. no matter what because moving makes me sweat. Get up, shower, put on a dress and hit the other side of town to take random pictures for the scrapbook. Treat myself to lunch, something spicy, at a restaurant I’ve never been to before sit on the vent to blow cool air up my nether parts. Stay up just long enough to help retard fat gain, then lay in bed Repeat above and gently fall asleep.

Friday: Wake up and take a walk or jog. Come home, shower. and eat home fries (maybe even loaded home fries) with a plate of fruit. Stare at The Hero and ask him what he wants to do. Plan B: get dressed and go to all the craft stores in the city begrudgingly go to Michael’s to return a faulty product.  Splurge on supplies. Shop for clothes. Drop The Kid off on the other side of town to go swimming with his friends. Go to Sephora and buy pretty glitter nail polish. Go home and faint from heat exhaustion.

Saturday and Sunday: Cleveland. Visit the family. Collect gifts (if applicable). Have a good time. Give up negotiations. Reflect on week. Come back home. Get ready for serving others on Monday. Have a Belle Collins  a glass of Apothic Red, Makers Mark on the rocks and Seagram’s 7 to celebrate fun week and prepare for real life again several shots of Pinnacle vodka and cry because Monday starts a cooling off trend. Recover and create the layout for my birthday-week scrapbook spread.

Now I’m sure you read this and thought that I didn’t enjoy the week. I’m not a fan of hot weather, so it took a great deal of concentration not to focus on that. I had a good time though. I got out when staying in the house became unbearable. I am particularly proud that I was selfish enough to stay on kitchen strike all week. I really enjoyed brunch on Sunday and movie adventures on Tuesday. I may even say it was the one time The Kid didn’t try to ignore people or pretend we weren’t related if he knew someone. Heat included, this was one of the best birthdays of my 30s.

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