It’s 2:32 a.m. and I’m tired. I’m beyond tired. I’m exhausted from three days of going to bed around this time and waking up around 7 or 8 a.m. I don’t do well on less than six hours of sleep and considering this is day… four, I don’t know how I’m managing.
But I feel like there’s something I need to say, something I need to put on this screen before I go to sleep tonight. I had some random thoughts about tears and how therapeutic they can be to the human spirit. Not simply to express sadness, but to express what can’t be written or spoken. Those indescribably feelings we all have. You know the ones. When we use our hands because words aren’t enough. When screaming doesn’t do the trick. When smiling hurts your face. When frustration from a lack of understanding gets the best of you. We’ve all been there.
Now I was thinking about tears because when my ambiguous blog posts, my specific journal entries and discussions until I can’t discuss anymore don’t work, I revert to tears. Crying for me is lightweight the best remedy for releasing blocked emotions that I’ve ever experienced. It releases that big feeling so that I can work through a solution to what was bothering me so badly. It’s healing when I’m hurt or sad and calming when I’m excited or happy. It’s a safe haven for feeling things I don’t want to feel, but need to in order to move forward. With crying comes a level of forgiveness because up to the point that first tear falls. I probably already thought about writing someone or something off. Tears allow me to safely feel vulnerable about feeling vulnerable.
While I can understand that crying can upset some people, it’s hard to understand why more of us don’t do it. I wonder how many relationships would be mended if someone allowed him or herself to just let it out. A private cry to open the door for that stored energy to escape. Something to consider while I sleep.