Box 1: Fear of the unknown Why am I always afraid of what I haven’t experienced when I dislike something I’ve already experienced? Why is the familiarity so comforting? It simply is the familiarity. While I know I don’t like limiting myself, the comfortable little box allows me to make an excuse about not stepping out into something deeper. I have to go to the deeper end of my life pool and going past the point where my feet touch the bottom makes me cringe. But how do I know I grasped the basics of swimming if I don’t try? I don’t and so whining to myself about why I can’t do this or that becomes an obsolete argument because I’m whining about me getting in my way.
Box 2: Impatience This box is really kind of easy to come out of although it’s taken three years to do it. Learning more jewelry techniques, I find I’m more patient when my final projects turn into ‘prototypes’. Instead of being mad about wasted materials, I’ve taken a pretty gold notebook and started writing notes on what didn’t work or how the instructions for a project should be modified to help me get to a better end result. And along those patience lines, I’ve slowed down a lot to make sure that I understand the instructions before I start the project and read it all the way through to make sure I don’t find myself in a trick bag in step 4. That little skill comes in ultra handy with the cake recipes. The irony is that my mother told me when I was younger to read recipes BEFORE I started to cook and measure everything ahead of time to prevent overmixing. Way to go, Val.
Box 3: What if it all works? Now, this may seem self-defeating, but there is a part of me that fears things will take off faster than I can handle them. That seems preposterous now that I’ve actually typed it. I mean.. the Universe never sends more than I can handle at any given time and when it does feel overwhelming, someone always shows up to help. So really, if it works, I’ll have everything I need to make it.
Box 4: Tough going Okay… so, sometimes I quit a thing rather than stick it out because it gets hard. This leads back to all the other boxes because they play a role. I don’t know how long it will take for my cake and jewelry ventures to get off the ground. I have to be patient with myself and the processes and look back on the journey when it all works out. Right in through here though, I’m going to be in for some hard work, mentally and physically. Maybe even emotionally and spiritually. In addition to revenue, I have to measure my success by satisfaction with what I’ve made and if I’m happy doing it.
In the end getting out of these boxes will take conscious effort. Like Spongebob, I’m ready.