It wasn’t my intent to come down and type a blog today. I had fully intended to wash the dishes, finish washing clothes and go to the library before heading to work. Of course, I got sidetracked and went in another direction.
I finally finished reading “Oneness” and unlike most of the other spiritual books I’ve read, it didn’t make me feel that I needed to change. It didn’t make me feel less than or incomplete, but grateful for who I am and gave me an understanding that in the midst of all things swirling around at any given time, I’m still okay. I don’t believe in divine intervention or an all-knowing being dictates my life. I firmly believe that I’m responsible for all choices and that situations, things and people that arrive in my life do so because I’ve attracted them through conscious and subconscious thought. Along that line of thinking, today just felt like the day to look for the Iyanla Vanzant interview. Today felt like a day for expansion.
I watched snippets of the interview on Oprah.com. Both women seem to be at a place now where they are free to be themselves and expansive enough to love the other for who she is. Iyanla gets that now. She gets that it doesn’t really matter because her life is exactly as it should be and as she herself orchestrated the journey for her own soul enjoyment.
Of course nothing is without a personal lesson and in watching the videos, it added a new level of understanding to the way I think. Life is never about other people. They help enhance it through situations and experiences. It’s about me working out things for my own spirit and incorporating all the aspects of who I am into one collective unit while leaving all the karmic baggage on the curb. And in one short definition, karmic baggage, for me, is believing that things have limits. On this leg of my life journey, I’m beginning to realize that what I’m afraid of losing (love, relationships, understanding) are satisfied from within. I’m in no way saying I don’t love myself because I am fantastic. What I am saying is that I previously didn’t give myself the capacity to enjoy all the wonderful things about me because I was too busy trying to fix the unwonderful things. And as I allowed myself that freedom, I realized that unwonderful was always based on someone else’s interpretation of me.
So instead of toasting a scumbag, I’m toasting myself. For all the unwonderful characteristics people think I have, I’m still a wonderful expression of who I want to be right now. And if you have someone in your life who triggers your unwonderful buttons, here’s a little help with that: