The stories of life

We tell ourselves stories. We have experiences and remember them sometimes a little differently than how they happened. So if that’s the case, why don’t we just create new stories and let the old ones go?

That’s where I am now and I have to say I have a lot of stories to update. There are the ones about my parents (all three of them), my brothers, family, friends, old loves and the Hero. See, these stories affect how I perceive the quality of my life. But if life is about perception and is subject to the observer/doer’s own processing, wouldn’t it make more sense to make the story the best one possible? Of course it would. And that’s why I’m working on working things out.

It’s been an interesting process to say the very least. At first I tried to do it on the hardest cases, thinking if I just jumped right in it would be easier to do for easier and new cases. But that just wasn’t the case. Putting a new spin on the old ways I saw certain people was like putting a dress on a pig in crap. I hadn’t let the stories go. I was really just putting them on hold to see if THIS interaction would fit with the preconceived ideas I already had about said subject after the current interaction. That wasn’t progress. That was confirmation. I wasn’t looking for confirmation, but a way to see new things in old people. I took a different approach. Since I know I’m a progressive learner, I decided to start with easy cases and easy situations for hard cases. The success rate went from 25% to 50%.

I also realized that retelling stories only aggrandizes them. Do some need to be retold? Sure for the sake of information, for comfort from a loved one or maybe just to work out a solution when I’m stumped. But that’s not what I’m talking about. What I mean is adding the emotion to the stories, fueling negative feelings I have for other people. When I think about the stories I retell, it’s usually the ones that I find extremely offensive, ones that make me boil or ones that I just can’t believe happened. Each retelling is reliving that incident and rekindling the same emotions experienced when it happened. Now… if I don’t like getting pissed off or feeling offended or hoodwinked, what sense does it make to willingly subject myself to that feeling by repeating the incident ad infinitum? Not a lick of sense.

My progress is slow, but steady. I decided to stop speaking the negative and changing the negative thoughts to positive ones. Just about everything has a positive aspect to it and tapping into that can create a different reality.

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  1. we always seem to arrive at the same places at the same time. i’m back to making my own stories; not necessarily abandoning the old ones but stabilizing my perception of them and those contained in them. i realize now that the way i decided to retell some of my tales was holding me back and allowing me to blame others for it, when in reality it was i who was choosing this set of circumstances. turns out the very moment i decided to change the way i looked at things, past and present, i saw that the things i looked at changed and became a part of a favourable reality. very freeing.

    of course it’s not a perfect science yet but i’m working on it day by day.

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