I had a revelation last night after drinking two jumbo Margaritas at Senor Patron: my dreams need synchronicity and funding and right now, I’m really not doing my fair share in the funding category.
A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to be an accessory designer. I made moves to make that happen and actually started making jewelry to show the Universe that I’m serious about it. I bought beads, ribbon, chain, findings, and a bevy of other materials to make all the cool designs that popped into my mind. In the last two weeks, I produced a nice amount of items, enough that I decided to host a showing at the end of July, assuming I keep to the creative schedule of course.
But after those two Margaritas, I realized that being an accessory designer is the funding mechanism to my ultimate goal of being a philanthropist. I want to wear pearls with my Afro on a Tuesday morning and strut into a place in some fashionable, yet comfortable heels and a Michelle Obama-inspired outfit and tell some person or organization that the Foundation has approved their grant and here is the check. There is an innate part of my being that wants to give back to the community, but not by mentoring a kid or volunteering at a homeless shelter. I want to do big things and I want to rub elbows with the big players. Be one of those movers and shakers that help mold the fabric of my city, my community, my people and by my people I mean anyone who has been in an economic, social or racial dilemma that seemed impossible to overcome. I thought I wanted to be Oprah, but I don’t. I want to remain focused and be able to move in a variety of circles without the circles becoming my entire life. Make sense?
So after having that revelation and letting those Margaritas call forth more wisdom, I realized that I’ve been hiding from the world of work long enough. In order to see both of my dreams come true, I need to be serious about being a good steward of money to make them happen. I won’t be able to rent studio space on my good looks alone, even if I’m super pretty. I won’t be able to pay for classes, buy supplies, stock my work area or market what I make without some flow of income above what it takes to maintain my current standard of living. And that’s when Margarita wisdom informed me that I’d had enough downtime. It’s time to get back to the business of being responsible and doing my part in moving the world.
Of course, the bratty, stubborn side of me came up with a laundry list of why I didn’t want to do it right now, the biggest one being that working all day will significantly cut into my creative time. But that’s when I realized that all the things I’ve been learning over the past few months helped me learn how to manage my time. I’ll still have time to create, to draw and to find opportunities to indulge in artistic endeavors. I find time to tend to my farm and animals on facebook. Maybe it’s time to let them go….
After my three-month hiatus, I’m going back to the real world of work. I vow to be better about my selection this time and hope that all things work out for the best.
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