First, let me say that I appreciate your struggle, your sacrifice and love because without any of these, I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t be able to tell you what I need to say.
I judged some of you selfishly based on my needs and what I felt should have been done for me at moments in my life. I realized though that just as I consider myself the sun in my universe, I have to respect that you all may have lived under that same sentiment or made choices for your own and your family’s survival.
What I also realized, family, is that you all probably made the choices you did based on what you knew or understood at the time. Circumstances outside of your control (your children divorcing spouses and severing communication with you, your own naivety about life) had a snowball effect that until this morning, I didn’t understand. In my selfish life reflection, I could only see the impact these choices made on me, not the lack of control on your part to do something differently. It is possible that you could have made different choices or chosen different paths, but this is something I won’t know until I can talk to you personally.
I am the culmination of your life experiences and hopefully some manifestation of dreams deferred. I now feel the spirit of our clans, lineage, tribes propelling me forward and giving me the energy to accomplish what I set out to do. And in time, I’ll join this gathering and impart wisdom to my descendants when they come to their epiphanies about the choices I made that impacted their lives.
I love you. All of you. Those that I knew personally, those I was acquainted with and those who left before I arrived. I hope to leave the family better off than I found it when I leave here and add the wisdom and energy to those coming after me as you did for me. Thank you.