interview with JC
Current mood: energetic
i got a haircut yesterday. my new barber is a christian, which doesn’t bother me. everyone believes something even if they choose to believe in not believing anything. i don’t hear christian music on her radio and she doesn’t have pictures of jesus on the cross or other decorative accents in the shop. i appreciate that. i can take the occasional jesus/god statements.
yesterday we were just talking about relationships and stuff. i explained that the ex-wants-to-make-a-comeback bf and i were talking and mentioned some of the things i had problems with about it. she told me about her life before she found jesus, how she dated a lot of street dudes and the lifestyle that came with it. i’m always fascinated with people who live the fast life. it seems like fun. nothing i’d do because of the jail factor, but it seems interesting. during our conversation though, she mentioned how god changed her. jesus stopped her from getting angry. god did something else and jesus spoke some truth to her.
i won’t go through my religious beliefs. they’re out there, in print for the world to read somewhere in the 182 posts i have on here. i will say that i’m not knocking anything she said. nothing at all. but i have a beef. i have a big beef. double quarter pounder beef.
i’ve often wondered, even in my christian days, why people think that god, jesus or the devil did something or made them do something. the lack of personal credit or responsibility seemed like such a cop out. why not congratulate yourself for not being an alcoholic anymore? why not own up to being a ho? why isn’t it possible for someone to have a profound, socially changing thought? why does everything of significance have to be attributed to a higher power be it good or evil?
i decided to make an appointment with good old jesus christ. jc for short. i told the heavenly scheduler that it was an emergency of sorts. i needed an answer and i needed it quick. my entire belief system on humanity was in the balance. because i was a prior client, i miraculously got a late night appointment. the scheduler told me jc would meet me at the starbucks for coffee and would treat. woo hoo… at least he wasn’t a cheap diety.
i got to my appointment a little early. i figured it was probably safe to get a table in the back. hopefully jc would be smart enough to come in disguise. ‘he’ finally arrives and looks nothing like i thought. he looked just like me.
of course my first question is ‘can i call you deauna?’ and we both laugh pretty good. she says she doesn’t care, but since i’m going to retell the story, we’ll stick with jc. i have to admit that i was amazed she knew i’d type a blog about our meeting. she gets right to the point. ‘so you’re having issues with humans. go.’
i explain my confusion about passing the credit and blame. how i didn’t understand why people felt the need to pass off something they considered big, and sometimes small, to a power outside of themselves. i tried to be respectful of other beliefs, but it’s really getting hard. my mind brings back an error.
and do you know what jc said? can you imagine? go ahead and guess. she said “people believe what works for them. they identify with a higher power structure that allows them to be in tune with life. if they need an image of a male jc and an invisible devil and god, so be it. if they want a mirror image of themselves, hey, that works too. burn incense with buddha. live under the hindu principles. roman and greek mythology rocks. it’s whatever works for the person and society. at headquarters, we really don’t care. THAT is what people can’t wrap grasp with their human minds. we’d prefer nothing at all. no physical identification. no comparison. just pure energy. but you can’t see energy. you can’t touch it. well you can, but your human minds haven’t evolved there yet. we know if that ever occurred, you’d have absolutely no conflict. at the rate of your evolution though, you probably won’t get there for millions of years. if your way of thinking could change with the rate of your advancement in technology, you’d shave off millions of years, but it won’t happen. so we watch. we don’t interfere. we understand that you’ve collectively chosen an experience and we’ll let it play out. we totally understand that we’ll be the fall guys too and that’s okay. we’ve accepted the blame for millions of years. it rolls off our backs like water. upon physical death, you get it though. not that we care if you do or not because we know the ultimate truth, but you understand it again and again at the instant you choose to leave whatever physical form you chose.”
i told jc what she just said is what i already believe, so i don’t know if that’s an answer or not. i want to know why people can’t get to the point of realizing that they and the force they think controls them are one, why what comes to them is what they chose, not what god sent, what jesus wanted them to experience or how the devil wanted to manipulate them. why, at a higher level of consciousness, they don’t understand that every single action in their lives is the result of a choice they made, whether consciously or unconsciously, past, present and future. why it seemed impossible to find people who believed this and evolved to an even higher level and could help me get to that level. she told me that she had the answers, but i wasn’t ready for them. when i was, she’d come back and we’d talk. and she said that no one can help another person get to another level. there are, for lack of a better word, clues. she then added that words were the most impossible way to communicate these ideas. words are what got us where we are now and is the main reason why evolution will take so long. she reminded me of my conversation with the ex-wants-to-make-a-comeback bf about the word ‘want’. i got the point immediately. and i was pissed off with myself for not being able to understand the answer. i made a note to get there soon.
but i got stuck on that ‘ultimate truth’ statement. i seemed to entertain jc immensely. i don’t know if it was my frustration with not being more ‘evolved’ or the fact that i wanted to talk about ultimate truth and understand it. but she seemed animated. like she hadn’t had that conversation before. typing this, it occurred to me that she probably hasn’t in a while since i realize that she was my imagined form of higher power belief. nonetheless, she wanted to tell me. she’s going to lay the ultimate truth on me.
jc asks if i’m comfortable. do i want another caramel macchiato? they are absolutely awesome. some more lemon pound cake? weight isn’t that serious and really… how often do i get to talk to jc at a starbucks? she’s paying. i figure ‘why not?’. load me up. she returns with my order and asks me if i’m really ready for the ultimate truth. go.
“ultimate truth is ‘it’s just for fun’. your life… doesn’t matter. your purpose… doesn’t matter. what you do… doesn’t matter. the ultimate truth. when you’ve finished the life, you’ll have accomplished what you set out to do: experience life as whoever you were. while you’re in that body, you do what that person does. you make choices. you observe. you live. you ‘learn’. as you pass through life, you occasionally remember that you’re the highest form of energy in density. for most people, it only occurs to them maybe once or twice. there are a few of you that know this all the time though. those people understand that the reason they are here is to experience, and for lack of a better phrase, ‘play the game’. life is a game that starts at conception. you know you’ll get to the end, but there are an infinite number of possibilities along the way. and because we at headquarters understand time and space, you are choosing every single possibility all the time. what does that mean? it means at birth, in one reality you die, in one you live, in another you’re born a preemie, another your a twin, another you have down syndrome and on and on. and from there are infinite possibilities from that moment you leave your mother’s womb to getting home. your mother dies in childbirth. your father has a stroke in the delivery room. both parents die. both parents live. see how it branches out? and you are making every one of those choices as deauna. in some other reality, you don’t have any kids, never been married and are doing quite well. i figured i’d tell you that because it’s the reality you think about most. when you reach the end, all of those realities will play before you so you can review them. you can choose to go back as someone else or hang out at headquarters for a while. the choice is all your’s.”
again, i told jc i knew most of that, but i was fascinated by the infinite possibilities. i never think of a poorer me, if that’s possible. she pointed out that poorer me didn’t finish high school, had four kids and… i stopped her. the high school drop-out was enough. i didn’t even want to know. i felt good about this poor me. and i realized that poor is so relative. but she continued telling me about ultimate truth and its physical manifestations. it turned out to be a normal conversation. i wasn’t in total awe,but i didn’t feel like i hadn’t learned anything. i still focused on getting to some deeper understanding so we could have the next conversation though.
we finished our macchiatos and cake and said our good byes. before we left the starbucks, she said headquarters finds me amusing. i’m still trying to determine if i’m offended by that comment. i strutted away in my black stillettos and she in the coveted red ones i’ve been desperately seeking since last year. just like a higher power….